Week 3 - The Body and a Look into the First Trimester

In week three we discussed our bodies. What nutrients we need, how we can find them, what substances we should avoid and how we can use our bodies as temples...in a Godly way.

We welcomed a new member to our girls group named Iveth. A super shy, quiet girl. Our youngest at the age of ten. There's just something about her though. This really calm confidence. I know she's going to be an awesome addition to this group.

As a fun activity, I brought a bunch of fashion magazines. For those of you that know me, Elle and Glamour are my guilty pleasures! I printed two photos of each of their faces and had them choose two of their favorite outfits from the magazines. One outfit that is God-honoring and still fashionable and another outfit that is a bit risk-ay and too sexy for their age. To be honest, I think they really liked looking for the ridiculously sexy outfit more. But some of these girls, man, they have some good taste in fashion!

Our class was nicely interrupted by an all-out, torrential downpour. Like, I haven't seen anything like this in a long time and I certainly haven't ever experienced it while in The Hole.

I don't have any photos of my pregnancy group but we talked through the first trimester of pregnancy. I show them pictures of the baby and how it looks inside their tummy and we read about all the changes that are happening. This has been my favorite class so far. They had no idea that their babies had fingernails and a beating heart and already had limbs. It was really cool to see them really make the connection between what was happening to their body and their babies. It was like the bonds really started. Which, for me, is what I've been hoping for. That these bonds would form early, that these girls would realize how amazing our God is and how incredible his creation is. It was a good day.

If you would like to partner with this ministry, please contact me at amanda.braisted@go-ministries or go to the GIVE tab at the top of this page to find out how.

Week 2 - Self-esteem and Nutrition

Las Mariposas (young girls group)

In week two we discussed self-esteem and why its so important in our lives. The fact of the matter is, probably most girls struggle with low self-esteem regardless of where they live or what their economic group is. I had amazing, supportive parents, great friends and was active in sports and school clubs and still struggled with self-esteem issues. It seems to be engrained in us girls.

So we talked about what the effects of bad self-esteem are, poor decisions that can be made as a result of low self-esteem and what we can do as women to support each other and encourage one another. I made each of them say something encouraging to one of the other girls in the group. It was hard for them. Most of them gave a quick, surface answer and giggled and got shy. It made me think hard about the competitive nature of women. Why do we find it so hard to lift one another up? Why do we have trouble celebrating in other women's triumphs even if it means no recognition for ourselves?

We talked very seriously about false self-esteem as well. About girls they know that talk themselves up, make it appear that they have it all together and could care less about what others think. But deep inside, there is a battle there just like the rest of us. It was really refreshing. It seemed to be a topic that they all wanted to participate in. They seemed interested in really finding the root of good self-esteem.

A prayer request for this group: we have two girls that are a little more "difficult" than the other girls. And we all know that this group is especially for them. Pray that the Holy Spirit can open them up and break their "hard outer shell." Pray that I have patience and wisdom in how to deal with some of the things that come up with them. Pray that it doesn't discouraged or distract the other girls who are so ready to listen and learn.

Las Flores (pregnant teens)

This week, I was super excited to have my friend and fellow missionary, Deloris Norman, come as a guest speaker and also help me measure and weigh the girls. It is my goal to give them the information necessary so they could have healthy pregnancies and hopefully healthy newborns. So, knowing that a majority of these girls will never go to get prenatal care, we are going to do the best we can with what we've got in helping them achieve a healthy pregnancy and birth.

Deloris measured their bellies and got a fundal height measurement for each of the girls. I also weighed them on the scale to see where they are for next month and help them adjust diet or mild exercise if needed. Deloris also took their blood pressures as gestational diabetes is a very high probability here.

The other great thing about this week was we had two new mamas join us. Both girls are great additions to the group and I'm so excited to be able to share this time with them. We now have each of the trimesters represented. It will be so much fun to talk about how all of their beautiful babies are developing!

Marleny, age 16, 4 months pregnant -- Marilyn, age 17, 2 months pregnant

Deloris then went through a list of 10 important things for taking good care of your body during pregnancy. Things such as diet, exercise, things to avoid, body aches, etc. She got a lot of her information from a book called, "Where Women Have No Doctor." It's a super good read in areas like where we work because it is a practical approach for women that have limited-to-no access to doctors or medicine.

All in all this week was so amazing. I had been praying for a couple more moms to join our group (i knew they were out there, just had to get them to the church!). And the girls seem to be getting a little more comfortable with the idea of having a little one soon! Of course nothing really prepares you for that. But hopefully over the next couple weeks as we discuss the different trimesters, they can begin to bond with their baby and realize what an incredible responsibility they have been handed.

A prayer request for this group: one of the moms and her spouse are having some difficulty. Just pray that God would reign in the situation and that His glory would be seen.

If you would like to partner with this ministry, please contact me at amanda.braisted@go-ministries or go to the GIVE tab at the top of this page to find out how.

Week 1 - Girls Groups Introduction

There has been much anticipation, on my part, for these girls' groups to begin. This summer I've developed some great friendships that have made these groups possible. I've been nervous, excited, scared, overwhelmed and a whole slew of emotions leading up to this past Tuesday. I e-mailed people and called people and talked to people asking them to cover all of this in prayer. I've done my best to leave my expectations at the door, because in reality, expectations sometimes ruin the beauty of things. And these eleven girls are the beauty of things.

When eight girls showed up for our first "class" I giggled a little to myself in that I had brought exactly an eight count of materials, not knowing how many would come. Maybe I limited God in that. Maybe if I had prepared for twenty, twenty would have come. But I was elated with eight. And more elated that I had enough materials for each of them.

The other Maestras (Yudy, Tatiana, Elba) and I began with a short introduction about what we hoped for these girls and why we were there spending time with them. Each story was so inspiring and exactly what I'd hope God would place in their hearts to tell these girls.

Rosa Angelica, age 15 and Lylyana, age 13

Cindhia, age 13 and Angela, age 12

Marilin, age 13 and Sondra, age 13

Maria, age 12 and Yolibeth, age 15

After introductions, I had prepared a little craft for them. The name of this group is "Las Mariposas" or The Butterflies. So I found a tutorial for butterfly barrettes and we spent the last half hour of our class working on the craft and just chatting.

As our time together began to close, God gave me some incredible wisdom that pertained to our craft and the class. So I asked the girls, "Tell me something you learned from making these butterflies that you can apply to life." One said, "What looks easy, what looks beautiful, is actually a lot of work." Another said, "We had to share and ask someone else for help." Then I asked them, "Who here knew how to make a butterfly barrette before today?" No one raised their hand. "Who knows how to make a butterfly barrette now?" They all raised their hands. "And why do you know how to make it now?" "Because you taught us," they responded. I went on to explain that this is exactly what this class is about and what our lives are about. There are many things we don't know and we need people with more experience than us, that we can rely on, to teach us. And once we are taught, we have to do the hard work to become something beautiful. And then it is our responsibility to teach it to others. To help them become something more beautiful too.

Wednesday, we started our pregnancy class. Three girls came, and apparently we were supposed to have two more, but over the weekend there was some drama and the other two couldn't make it. I was happy to have these girls show up. I do pray we get a few more girls so its not so intimidating having only three "students" and four teachers.

Carolina, age 22, 6 months pregnant--Yuleidy, age 13, 5 months pregnant--Yoeily, age 15, 3 months pregnant

We started with introductions, just like with the other girls, and spoke more specifically on motherhood. The difficulties, the joys, pain of childbirth...etc. I could tell these girls were a little more uncomfortable than the younger girls in the other group. So I didn't press too much conversation and we just went into doing our craft.

The name for this group is "Las Flores" or The Flowers. So I found another tutorial for flower barrettes that the girls could do. It was a little more intricate so it gave me a good amount of time to observe and just listen to their conversation. I also had extra materials, since I planned for eight, so the teachers got to do one too!

Yudy, Tatiana and Elba

It was such a great couple of days. A lot of the stress that I was putting on myself, just getting everything together, faded away. I felt a lot more confident going into the second group just knowing how easy the first group flowed. I'm excited for next week, especially for the pregnancy group. One of our medical staff, Deloris Norman, will be coming next week to weigh, measure and take blood pressures of the girls and we will be speaking on the importance of Nutrition in pregnancy.

Just a tidbit of information, we are handing out a week's worth of prenatal vitamins to the girls at the end of each class. Prenatal vitamins are EXTREMELY expensive here. Mike and I are paying for these vitamins with some of our ministry money but we could still use some help. If you are interested in getting some bottles of prenatal vitamins here to the Dominican, or sending support to Mike and I so we can continue supplying the needs of these two classes, please contact me at amanda.braisted@go-ministries.org. Or you can click on the Give tab at the top of our blog and get more information.

Keep praying. God is opening doors!

He's Here!

Little man arrived by emergency C-section on August 29th. Yorgenis was born five weeks early at 7 lbs 8 oz. Could you imagine if Brenda had gone full-term? Yikes! He spent a week in the NICU receiving oxygen and being kept under observation but is with his Mama now!

Brenda is staying with her Grandmother until Saturday when she can return to her home, her husband and her 2-yr-old daughter. Because of the amount of stairs she'd have to take to get down into The Hole, her doctor told her she needed to wait until she got her C-section stitches out. On Sunday, she will be taking him to church to be dedicated. Pretty exciting.

But even more exciting, she told me today that she has read through Genesis in her new bible. She is in awe of how God created the world. For someone who hasn't stepped foot in a church until three weeks ago, I'd say that's pretty exciting! She is such an incredible girl. I am so blessed that God has placed her in my life. Enjoy the rest of the photos!

I thought this photo was hilarious. He is sooo tiny. A regular pen is the same length as the length from his head to his waist! Do you remember this tiny little guy born last year?

I don't know how I caught him smiling, but isn't it cute?

proud mama.

proud aunt :)

Creation Restored

how fleeting are the feelings we have
on top of the world, one minute, and in a bottomless pit the next
can't it be just smooth sailing in life
not flying high but not so vexed



we don't belong in this world, i get it
in this world we will have trouble
but sometimes i just want consistency
not joy nor sorrow, doubled.



i can look in a child's eyes one day and see
the sun and the moon and the stars
and the next day as she stares at me
i see the wounds and the bruises and the scars



its not fair, i tell you, to feel the burden
of a little ones' hurt and an older ones' pain
but the joy, oh the joy, when their smiles are brighter
just by the sight of you, oh what a gain.




i know my savior is with me
he knows my tears, he sees what i see
i just take a look at his marred up hands
and i remember by his grace i am set free

freedom is what i want for these ones
to feel his love when their parents don't even care
to know a protector unlike any other
to have a spirit lighter than air

to forget the horrors that they've watched
play out in front of their little eyes
to be guarded from this jaded world
to know in the end the bad guy dies



that the king of kings is triumphant
even now when loneliness is all they feel
that the lord of lords will prevail over all
that even the deepest cuts can be healed



oh my healer, come and rescue us
redeem these people who never felt redemption before
renew these communities, breakthrough strongholds
so that we can return to a Creation restored.

It's easier to trust someone you know

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

I don't know about you but I've had grand dreams for myself, for my entire life. Professional soccer player. Well-known photographer. Revered author. Yet here I sit having accomplished none of the above. I've struggled over my lifetime feeling less than mediocre expecting that I should have done more to be more. We've all been there, I think. In that place where you stare blankly into space wondering how you got where you are. Wondering what happened to all the things you decided long ago you would accomplish for yourself. That place is hard. Not because you don't love where you are or appreciate where you are or are grateful for where you are. But because it wasn't what you expected. You may even call it, the death of your expectations.

In the times where I struggle most it is often when I read scripture and see promises that God lays out that I feel haven't come to pass. I can't tell you how many times I've read the verse above with its hopeful promises to "prosper" me and "not to harm" me and to give me a "future." Only to think of all the hard times I've been through and things that have not felt very prosperous.

I've started a book called Plan B by Pete Wilson. When I began to read it, it was simply because I personally know the author and because I figured it would be good to prepare myself if my life happened to ever take a different turn.

The premise for the book is basically when your life doesn't turn out the way you thought it would, what then? How do you view God? What happens to your faith? And if you don't even believe in God, does it just further solidify your thoughts that there is no God?

Until chapter four, I thought the book was just a good read, something that every good Christian should know and possibly prepare for if they came in contact with someone who was just handed their "Plan B." But something really struck me in that chapter that connected a lot of dots in my life walk as a Christ follower.

When we decided to become missionaries, the honest truth was that it was my "Plan B." I felt ill-equipped, unworthy, terrified. And really, those are the good adjectives I would use. I also felt like it was the end of everything I had dreamed about. Getting a college degree and opening my own photography studio. Moving to an old farm, renovating it and raising horses. Our children growing up in the land of opportunity and endless possibilities. Although for some people becoming missionaries is their "Plan A," I felt like I was giving up so much.

The thing that really verbalized the changes I've seen in my heart is realizing that what may have felt like my "Plan B" back then was really just the beginning of God's "Plan A" for me. It was a hard road. Filled with doubt and disappointment and depression at times, but I can truly say that I am exactly where I would be today, and dreamed of back then, had I known what God had in store.

The difference between then and now is what Pete says in his book:

"Constant contact with the Creator is essential for transformation living."

I wasn't as connected to God back then as I am now and as I have begun to look into the core of God's promises for me and what he lays out in his word I see the difference in context. The world's standards, and sometimes our own standards, for success and prosperity are often associated with financial security and freedom, or being relevant or accomplishing significance. But Jesus' promises for prosperity are measured in your close relationship with him, your service to others and becoming a humble heart.

When I think of what I used to consider the death of my dreams, I realize that my dreams were all things that would have brought myself glory. They would have lessened my dependence on God. They would have bound me to a world that feeds on egos and praises material accomplishment.

His dreams for me have now become mine. And my "Plan B" is forming into my "Plan A" because it revolves around a God I can trust with my life, my plans and my expectations. And Pete says it just right:

"When we've taken the time to understand God's character, faith comes easier. When we've experienced his faithfulness, it's easier to be brave. And the more time we spend in his company, the more ready we are to step forward when he says it's time."

from earthquakes to truth

(Japan Earthquake...Photo credit: www.news.com)

I haven't said anything about the earthquake in Japan, until now, because really, what do you say to something like that? But this morning I was woken up uncharacteristically early and as I began to do my devotions I felt such an intense prompting in my heart to write something that I literally jumped off the couch and ran to my computer. I'm not sure exactly what God may have me say, but I'm leaving my words to him, to give encouragement, to give hope and above all to speak truth.

I couldn't help but notice as people post things on facebook and CNN and blogs, that there just seems to be such a sense of doubt and despair. I know you are thinking, "How can there not be?" But I say this, not because I don't feel compassion for the people of Japan, the exact opposite actually, but because what I see and hear are people that have all but doubted the existence of God because of the earthquake. And I'll go a little further and say there is even a vast majority of people out there that may actually believe that He exists but thinks that HE did this to Japan by allowing it to happen.

(Haiti Earthquake...Photo credit: http://chicagoist.com)

I've been through this before. I live on an island that was struck with an earthquake where they estimate that 250,000 people lost their lives. I'm not naive. But something that has been so heavy on my heart is the amount of people, not that find God amidst tragedies like this, but the amount of people that fall away from God because of tragedies like this. Somehow blaming him for not doing something or coming to the conclusion that He doesn't exist because something like this can happen.

I've struggled, in the past, to make sense of the evil in this world, wondering where God was/is in all of this. But this morning it became so clear to me. Not just in the sense of the earthquake in Japan, or the earthquake in Haiti a little over a year ago...but in this, in our lives, amidst all the hurt and pain and bitterness we have stored within us.

I have many atheist friends. I have many friends who claim to know and love God but consistently live a life outside of his will. I have many friends who genuinely seek God but when bad things happen to them, they question Him and hate Him and abandon Him. I've never known what to say, to convince all of these friends of a Savior that not only exists, but is actively pursuing them every moment of their existence. But this morning, as I opened my book ("Soul Cravings" by Erwin Raphael McManus) what do you suppose the chapter was on? If there is a God, why does he allow such horrible things to happen? This wasn't a mistake.

Oftentimes, if you're like me, you know why you believe something but you can't explain it. Mr. McManus doesn't have that problem. So as I was intensely reading this chapter (and practically highlighting the whole thing) everything that I've known and everything that I've felt were put into words right on the page. The very things I've wanted to say to all the people I love in my life that are struggling to find meaning and significance .

"Part of our problem in making sense of life is that we can't even make sense of ourselves. We want to blame God because we don't want to take responsibility for our mess. We stop believing in God because he won't change it. Is it possible that God does, in fact, exist, and we are still fully responsible for the human condition?"

WE hurt ourselves. WE hurt others. WE leave a wake of destruction in our paths. And I'm not speaking these words with condemnation, I'm speaking these words first person. As someone that hurts myself. Someone that hurts others. Someone that leaves a wake of destruction in my path. Someone did not make the Earth shake and kill thousands of people in Japan and hundreds of thousands of people in Haiti. Fault lines did that. But the people that lie, abandon, abuse, molest, and murder make the choices to do those things. God doesn't.

"For God to create us in such a way that we can choose that which is good, true, and beautiful, he must also allow us the freedom to choose that which is corrupt, false, and destructive."

What God does do and can do in those situations is renew, restore, heal, hold and love unconditionally. God has the ability to stop all the tragic things from happening but if he did that, he would also need to "control our every thought, our every emotion, our every motive, our every action." God is a God of freedom. He gave us freedom to choose the life we want. He gave us freedom to choose the path to take. He gave us the freedom to choose Him, or to not. And what he can do to a world full of evil, is not control our thoughts but change something much more extraordinary.

"He could change our hearts. He could take us through a process that would move us from greed to altruism, that would move us from indifference to compassion, that would move us from hate to love, that would move from apathy to activism."

If we change, our world will change. And when our world seems to be falling apart all around us. When people are hurting us and abusing us and divorcing us and manipulating us, we can cling to the fact that God NEVER changes. He is always the same. He is and can be the one constant in our lives. And there lies the only truth we need to know.

New Video up!

Cross Point Community Church's Video is up! Check it out by clicking on Photos & Videos and then on 2011 Videos!

trading beauty for ashes

"...and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor."
-Isaiah 61:3

Driving from the Dominican to Haiti, the terrain drastically changes. From lush rice fields and green mountain scapes to dirt roads and thorny bushes. In fact, the main road leading into the border-town of Dajabon looks much like what I imagine the desolate journey to hell would be. You pass by miles and miles of plant-life that has no green leaves or flowering buds but rather scratchy branches and prickles. You pass by dead animals and scavenger birds and what would appear to be unmarked graves only detectable by the handmade crosses placed as remembrance. There is one feeling that comes over me as I have driven that road many times.

Hopelessness.

left: typical housing right: drying the day's catch

As we entered the village of Phaeton, Haiti, we were not greeted by running children, jumping into our arms or familiar faces reaching out to shake our hands. We were just being watched. Very intensely. It made me uncomfortable knowing I couldn't offer a kind hello or even ask the children their ages to break the ice. Five years of learning Spanish was worthless here. I was kicking myself wishing I had learned some Creole.

Hopelessness.

We were then welcomed by Pastor Lucner and his wife, Marie. Familiar Faces. Loving hearts. Gracious hosts. "If I could just lock myself in their yard," I thought, "I'll make it through the next five days." I know. Great thing for a "seasoned" missionary to say. But you see, I like my comfortable little world where things hurt just a little. I don't really want to be changed. I don't want the floodgates of pain to come crashing down when I realize just how hopeless things can really get.

fishermen making their own nets

We settled in and decided to go for a walk. We were followed by a trail of curious kids. They kept their distance at first but it appeared that every step we took into their world, they took one more step into ours. I began asking Wilby (one of our staff's husband who is Haitian) how to say the "token" phrases in Creole and of course the most important one, the one I had to learn the second I stepped on the island five years ago..."Can I take your picture?" One of the fishermen overheard my inquiries and said something to Wilby. I asked Wilby if it would be alright if I took the fisherman's picture. The man replied, "Only if she asks me in Creole." So there I was, in the same place as I was the first time I had to use my Spanish words, scared to death I'd screw it up, except this time in Creole. I spit it out, the man smiled, I took his picture. My hopelessness began to lift a little.

The children stole my heart. I was cautious though. I was on a mission to just work hard and go home. If I made any connections, I knew it would change me. And like I said, I wasn't sure I wanted to be changed. But there was something so incredible about them. So tentative at first. We actually made the smaller ones cry at the very sight of us. But little by little I could feel the exchange between us and them. Our hearts beat and said, "We're here to love you," their hearts beat and said, "I've heard that before."

Wilby explained to us that a lot of people have come to Haiti, taking pictures of the starving children and harsh living conditions with the promises that they will use the photos to bring them help. Only to never return. We had a lot of barriers to overcome. The mistakes of others before us. Just hoping we can restore trust between the Haitian people and ourselves.

Hopefulness.

left: watering hole right: what most of the homes are made of

fish drying out in the sun

left: ruins left from the rope-making factory right: flower among thorns

This village is really indescribable. Wood and mud shacks banked up against vast oceans and mountain ranges. You can't explain it in words. It just doesn't do it justice.

sun rising over the ocean, about 6:05 am

fishermen out at dawn

sunrise, 6:15 am

We took a trip to the Citadel Laferrière. It's a stone building together with Fort Jacques Alexandre that was built as a part of a fortification during the slave uprising in Haiti. The fortress was built by the leader of the Haitian uprising, Mr. Henri Christophe (Henry I.) between 1805-1820. More than 20,000 Haitians and slaves worked on the fortification system. There is even legend that when they ran out of water while mixing the mortar, Christophe had slaves killed and their blood drained and used to continue their work. Just to give you a little insight of the treatment of the Haitian people for centuries.

citadel, looking up from the path...

left: orange and green mold growing on the walls right: corridor leading to the Christophe's wife's bedroom

the armory...four different sized cannon balls

cannons

By the end of our trip in Phaeton, I could feel the tugging at my heart that you only feel when you're about to lose it. When you're about to give a piece of it away to someone, a people, a village. Luckily, when I lost it, I wasn't alone. Thank goodness my friend, Jen, was there when the blubbering began. When I went through all five stages of grief in a matter of minutes. Just not understanding why people are so oppressed. Why children go hungry and a whole village is forgotten by the world. Why Satan and his dominions have such power over a country. But as quickly as it came, it left just the same. My tears were gone and peace overcame me. God reminded me that they are his people too. The forgotten ones. Only not forgotten by him.

Hopefulness.

I love you, people of Phaeton. I really, really do. I'm sorry I didn't love you as well as I could have. I'm sorry I held so much back for the little time I was there. But I promise. I'm not going to be one of those people that takes pictures of your hungry kids and your harsh living conditions and then forgets about you. I will use them to remind others that there is a bigger world beyond our own. A world that is hurting. A world that is living without. And I will come again. More people will be walking your dirt roads. More people will be loving you. Jesus will bring hope and restoration to your people....he will trade his beauty for your ashes.

me and willy

Video Camera

Those of you who read our blog and follow our journey know I'm the Coordinator of Photography for G.O. Ministries, Inc.. I have the unique opportunity to capture life and ministry in the Dominican Republic and Haiti through the perspective of the lens. Because being a missionary is a "job" in which we rely solely on the support of others, all of the equipment I use needs to be donated or have the funds donated in order to purchase.

Recently, a former college professor of mine, donated the money so I could buy a new Nikon D90 for my work here. Because of his generosity, the work that I am so privileged to be able to do has improved greatly.

But besides being a photographer, I have also become sort of a videographer as well. Although I have no training and really no idea what I am doing, it is something that God has allowed me to use alongside of the photography I love. For the last three years, I have been using a video camera that was donated to the ministry through another one of our missionaries. It has been an incredible asset to my work. But like all things electronic, its life has come to an end. Hence the purpose of this post.

Mike and I have purchased the video camera in the photo above. It is not necessarily in our budget to do so, but we believe that it was a necessary purchase to do what I do...which is raise awareness and be an advocate for the Dominican and Haitian people through the use of media. On faith we purchased this video camera for our organization and on faith I make this post that there is someone who has been looking for an avenue to be a financial help and may have found it today.

The cost of the video camera was $400.00. If you feel so moved to donate $5, $10, $100 towards it, I send you a million thanks. Absolutely every bit helps. But I don't want to limit God. I know he wants to grow my faith and the faith of his followers. I know he can do immeasurably more than I could ever ask or imagine. My ministry is an expensive ministry in the sense that the equipment I use is not a $15.00 shovel or $50.00 wheelbarrow to build a church but sometimes thousands of dollars to show the world the amazing work God is doing here.

If you feel so moved to donate toward this purchase and any future purchases for my ministry of media, please go here to find out how you can partner with us. (make sure you indicate you want your donation to go to Braisteds Media Equipment)

Below is an example of one of the videos I have done.

Promotional DVD from Amanda Braisted on Vimeo.

Whatever is lovely...

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is

excellent of praiseworthy - think about such things." -Philippians 4:8

I've thought so many times that I wanted to post something new on our blog but have literally got all signed on and then sat there thinking, "Nope, not really worthy of it today." Somehow, I've come into the mental attitude that I have to have it all together to say something profound and meaningful. If only you knew how much I love to write. How much I love to share. How much I've been aching to say something. But, alas, an empty post.

I've been challenged, in recent weeks, to discipline myself in the area of spiritual development. I'm already starting my second book in a month (which for those of you that know how much I loathe reading, other than Fashion magazines, this is quite a feat). The funny thing that happens when you force yourself to be more disciplined is that God sees it as an avenue to gently teach you things that undoubtably need to be taught.

My prayer life has been less than satisfactory. In fact, it seems more like a burden...heavy and dark and hopeless. But really, its no wonder. My prayers are always about changing somebody else's attitude. About having them understand me better. About changing circumstances that I've felt were unfair. And there may have been situations where all of those things were true or needed to happen but the Bible says nothing about getting what is "owed" to us. Today during my reading, I came across Philippians 4:8. It seems like such a fairy tale verse that doesn't apply to much other than what the perfect, happy-go-lucky, Christians exude. But when you look closer it is a perfect picture of how our prayers should be. "Whatever is right" "pure" "lovely" "admirable" "excellent" or "praiseworthy" these are the things we should pray about.

When I feel like someone is being hard-headed and unfair, praise God for the incredible parent they are or for their compassionate heart. When I feel pushed around and belittled, praise God for their unwavering leadership and their loyalty to God's work. When I feel like my opinion doesn't matter to them, praise God for their discipline in studying the Word and desire to love others better. Find the "lovely" things in people and praise God for them. I feel like it will bring hope to my prayers and shed light on the best in others. And really, isn't that how God sees us?

The world tells us to be strong-willed, independent, self-relying, self-trusting....where as all of these things have the potential to be "praiseworthy" characteristics, all they've really done is created egotistical, selfish, disconnected people. Myself included. Imagine the change if a new movement approached us that caused us to find the best in others, praise God for their admirable personality traits and forgive them quickly when we feel that they've injured our "egos."

I, for one, am ready to join the movement. Ready to pray for what is lovely. Here's to revamping my prayer life.

Daily Bread

"I have not departed from the commands of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread." -Job 23:12

we went to a different church this morning. there were only 16 people there, including the four of us. i judged it immediately. wondering what kind of church could it be with only 12 people. wondering how can there be any spiritual growth with only 12 people. wondering what kind of service can you have with only 12 people. god saw my heart. i'm sure he wasn't pleased. i felt him say, "you are what is wrong with christians. you are why people can't see me. you are keeping people from finding me." it stung. really bad.

it hurt for the obvious reasons of seeing something inside my heart that is ugly, unfinished and unholy. but it also hurt because it dug up the root of why i felt the way i did. judging this church before i even was part of it. and the underlying sting was that i don't trust god. i mean, i do, on occasion. and especially when things are going good. but when its a sunday morning and only 12 people are sitting in the chairs i don't believe that he is going to show up.

a woman came up just to speak of prayer requests needed and people who are in need of some help and then she said it. the thing i needed to hear. the thing i've needed to hear for four years, maybe more. i don't even remember the context of why she said it, but she said, "i don't know. because maybe if he gave us what we needed six months in advance, we wouldn't rely on him for our daily bread."

whoa.

you see, for four years, i've wrestled with god. always dealing with the financial aspect of being a missionary. i can tell you the embarrassing conversations i've had with him. like, "How can you send someone a life calling like this and then not provide the funds to do what is needed?" or "I could be in the states right now making crazy money doing something else but i chose to follow you here and this is what i get?" ugly, right?

but when she said that, that maybe we wouldn't rely on him for our daily bread, it screamed at me to what i've specifically been questioning god on for the duration of our time in the dominican.

if that didn't about knock me out of my chair, the pastor steps up to the podium and his first line is, "i don't know why i need to say this, but this is just something that has been laid on my heart. god is our father. he thinks like a father. even when we pray and pray and pray for something for a long time, if god knows that it isn't what is best for us or is more than we can handle, he's not going to let us have it."

BAM!!!

it all made sense. right there. there may have been times in my faith when i questioned if there really was a god or what if we're all wrong and this god that we love really doesn't exist...but right then, our god was the god of moses. the god of the old testament. it was as if i was standing on the mount with a burning bush speaking to me. i know, without a shadow of a doubt that god is present, with us at all times. yearning for conversation with us. desiring to give us his best. wanting us to know that he is as close as our own skin. and above all that he is faithful. for four years i've struggled to know the reasons that we've never made our "A" budget or that supporters come and go. but for four years, god has planted seeds and allowed weeds to grow here and there and then pruned them away and then let the plant grow some more for this exact day that we decided to go to a different church. that i'd be sitting in that chair so sure that god wasn't going to show up. that perhaps he was doing something else more important. but right there, in that moment, god was waiting for four years until i was ready to hear what i needed to hear...

"I am your daily bread."