God has always spoken to me through music. I don't have to be listening to praise and worship for Him to say something profound. In fact, over the years I have thought so many times that the love songs of the secular world could most definitely be translated into how I feel about Jesus.
This morning on my run, rather than listen to my normal Praise and Worship playlist, I decided to throw on some Adele. As my feet hit the pavement and my labored breaths were exhaling, the song "He Won't Go," came over my headphones. I wasn't listening very closely, as I was nearing my second mile, but suddenly some words overwhelmed my ears;
"You would choose poison over me?"The actual lyrics are, "...he would choose the poison over me," but I could have sworn I heard it the other way. God was audibly saying to me, "Why would you choose poison over me?" Those words, no joke, rang in my head for the next five minutes trying to ponder what He was really saying. And it became clear. I have been doing so many things to get closer to my Lord and Savior. I have been soaking up everything I could possibly read that would help me walk step by step with him. I don't lie, steal, cheat, kill or commit adultery but, still, how many times do I choose "poison" over Him? How many times do I choose judgement over acceptance? How many times do I choose bitterness over joy? How many times do I choose pride over humility? More than I want to admit. But I do. I choose it. I choose to drink the poison.
God said to me, "If someone had two cups in front of you, one with poison and one with life everlasting, which would you choose?"
In my most annoying, teenage voice I said to Him, "Well, duh, life everlasting."
"Would you still choose the cup full of life everlasting even if it meant a difficult journey?"
"Then why, my child, when I place my cup of life everlasting in front of you daily, do you choose to drink the poison, even if but a sip?"
"I have no idea. Because its easier?"
For me, that was it. That was why. Because its easier. It's easier to hate than to love. It's easier to ignore than be intentional. It's easier to hold a grudge than to forgive. But when Jesus said this journey would be difficult He didn't mean that around every turn there would be tragedy, even though there will be some. He meant that the road He's asking us to travel is difficult in the sense that it goes against everything that is inherent in us; in the world. It will be hard work to change what comes so easily.
I am grateful to Adele, and to God, obviously, because that tangible image, drinking poison or drinking life everlasting, makes my daily decisions a lot less difficult.