"Mom" and "Dad"

Well...God reveals Himself again. Yesterday at 3:30 pm I got a phone call from a woman who is the mother of one of my co-workers. She called to tell me that they wanted to add Simba to their family. I've never in one moment been so mixed-emotioned. I literally was smiling and crying all at once. Smiling because God had answered one of our biggest prayers and Crying because that meant I would have to give my baby up. It felt absolutely wretched. Not to mention I felt completely awful at the fact that I was so sad given the fact that God had blessed us so greatly. Our deadline was today and he answered our prayers. So...sometime this weekend, the Archers are going to come and pick him up. I seriously hope I'm at the store or something when they do.

Last night, we stayed up a little later, kept Simba out a little longer and let him have more than one bone to chew on. There was this weird eerie cloud hovering over the night like we were preparing for him to be euthanized or something. Of course, he was cuter and more well-behaved than he has ever been in the year and a half that I've had him. I was telling him to bite me and rip up my socks so it would make the transition easier. He just kinda looked at me like, "Mom, why are you so sad?" Which unfortunately has been one of his best qualities since I've known him. No matter what, when I am sad, he always knows. He alwasy walks slowly toward me and nudges his head under my hand, kinda saying, "if you pet me, I know you'll feel better." And I always do. My only prayer now is that he will be an even better dog for them than he has been for Mike and I. I don't want him to misbehave. I don't want him to be a terror. I want him to sometime in the near future think of them as "mom" and "dad."

Schedule

Just wanted to post a couple pictures of the kids from the Dominican. Aren't they beautiful? It was such an awesome experience to be working one on one with them. I'm not going to write much today (quite honestly I don't feel like anyone reads this anyway) but I'm just going to give a run down of our "projected" schedule.

April 7-8: Yard Sale (postponed to April 21,22 due to weather)

April 13-16: Virginia for Easter

April 21-23: Yard Sale

April 26: My last day at work

April 29: Mike's graduation

May 1: Move out of house, go to my family's place to visit for a few days

May 7: Church presentation visit in Virginia

May 12/13: Move to KY

June 3: Renee's Wedding

June 13: Move to the Dominican Republic

Well, there it is, our schedule. Of course it's subject to change but that is what we are anticipating doing for the next few weeks. If you happen to read this blog...could you post a comment or two? It helps to know people are actually responding.

have a good one

Get Rid of that 5%

We got our March financial report...two new donors for one-time gifts. At first I was disappointed (I know, how selfish of me) but I look back now and that was money that we didn't have before...PRAISE JESUS!!! I've discovered the hard way, that I am naturally a negative thinker. It kills me to say it, but admitting it is the first step, right? For so much of my life I think I put on a facade about being "miss positive attitude." And even though in some things, such as sports, I do have a positive attitude, in most things my first initial reaction is almost always negative. Maybe I just wasn't mature enough to see my flaw or maybe God is just choosing to reveal this to me now, but either way it is more evident than ever.

Because of the situations that Mike and I are facing, it is forcing me to trust not only in God's power of provision but also in the fact that no matter what I want or think, God knows best. Although I want to say that I whole-heartedly believe that this is exactly where he wants us, I honestly have no idea. I mean I want this to be where I am going but you never know what God has planned. I feel like there is a continual battle inside of me everyday, that when these trivial things happen (like not having very much support yet) I wrestle with:

"Is this God telling me that this isn't where we are supposed to be?" or "Is this Satan just trying to discourage me?"

Have you ever had that battle? It's awful...I mean it truly is. When you are standing in the gap wondering if God is talking or Satan is whispering in your ear. I JUST WANT TO KNOW!!!! It's like I'm 95% trusting and 5% doubting. What will it take to get rid of that 5%???

God Never Leaves or Forsakes

Mike and I went to Wisconsin this weekend and it was just what we needed. It was carefree, relaxing and just awesome to be around family. God responded greatly to my confusion and fear about raising our funds. My parents gave us their pledge and two other people at my sister's birthday celebration said they were going to support us, they just have to send it in. I read through the post that I made on Friday and I feel totally different today than I did then. Some time yesterday, I had this breif moment of peace that passed through me. Like it was God saying, "It's going to be ok, I have it under control." And then it left. But that's all I needed. I needed that "breath" of peace. I was reading in "Barbarian" today and it made this major statement that spoke greatly to me. It said something to the effect of in the days of Elijah, God was there where the people could hear and see Him. Today, we have to learn to see the invisible and hear the undetected. Since I was little, my Mom has always said that the voice of God is not very often shouting from the mountaintops, but a still, quiet whisper in our ears. How true...

When I am confused and angry and disappointed and emotional, I wonder why I can't hear God speaking to me. I think that it may be because I just can't hear him over my own voice. We talk to Him about our problems and our needs but rarely do we just sit in silence and let Him talk to us. This may be profound, but God wants to help us. I know, crazy, isn't it? We just don't allow Him too. We are too busy hearing the sound of our own voice to step back and just let Him speak. It's amazing to me how lost I can be one day and how it all makes sense the next. It's true...God never leaves or forsakes.

It's Just One of those Days

Ok...so I've held it together pretty well so far when thinking about the impossible task of raising funds. I have to say...today is one of those panic days. The countdown continues to 74 days til departure and so far we haven't even raised enough money for our plane tickets to the DR, let alone living expenses while we are there. I don't know whether to just shake it off as one of God's life lessons of trust and faith or to be disappointed in the fact that we sent out 150 letters to people and only 12 have responded. Asking for money from people is a ridiculously hard thing to do. I hate doing it (I mean aside from when you were like 10 years old and you asked your parents for money to buy the Hansen CD). In fact, I'm really uncomfortable doing it. I know that will change once I get to see first hand the provisions of God, but right now in the beginning stages, this is really difficult. Mike is cool as a cat. But he's an MK (Missionary Kid) and has seen the money come in when you don't think it will. And yes, God has totally taken care of our financial needs in the past. Our bank account has never been in the red. But that is on such a smaller scale than raising the amount of money we have to raise. We have to raise 3x what we make now!!! Do I think God can do it? Yes. Is it nerve-wracking while we're waiting? Absolutely. Maybe this comes down to the fact that I'm making this too much about me. I'm afraid. I'm afraid God has called us to this and then He will change His mind. I'm afraid of putting myself out there and asking for funds and then not getting what we need. I'm afraid of the humiliation that I could face if we don't get to go and all those people who will say "we knew it wouldn't work out." I've been to the Dominican, my heart is already there. Yep...I'm making this too much about me. I'll knock it off...I promise. It's just one of those days.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." -Romans 8:28

Maybe I am being ridiculous...

The saga continues. It's hard enough having to find a new home for some"one" that is practically your son, but now that it is getting down to the wire, it's even harder to not be able to even FIND a home for him. People either want older, well-trained dogs or cute little puppies. No one wants a year and a half year old teenager (in dog years). Man, how weird. I'm totally fine with moving to a foreign country with the chance of not seeing my family for 6 months or more, but I have a harder time with giving up my dog! That is twisted. I would love to have Simba come down with us, but what kind of life would he have? We would be busy all the time so he would have to stay in the house. It's going to be ridiculously hot (which he is not used to at all) living in a country where dogs are more the scum of the Earth than loved pets. It doesn't seem that God is leading us to bring him on our journey, but why hasn't he brought us a suitable owner?

This is one of those Faith things, isn't it...he's gonna keep me on the edge, holding on by the skin of my teeth so that I learn to trust in Him and have Faith that He will provide. Goodness...this stuff is hard. It may seem little and trivial to those that haven't met Simba or have never really shared that type of bond with animal. But this is a dog that I have raised since he was 7 weeks old, scared and missing his mom. We've gone through Parvo scares, mid-day jogs, being hit by a car, Vet bills, laying on the couch watching movies....this is starting to sound like a boyfriend! ha. But really, I've invested so much time into his life and he has depended on me to keep him alive and take care of him. Maybe this is so hard because I think he's going to feel like I am abandoning him. This makes me think twice about children. If I can get this attached to a dog in a year and a half, I am going to be absolutely ridiculous over my own flesh and blood.

Maybe I am being ridiculous...

I want to be a Barbarian...

Yay! We already have people blogging us!!! Teresa, I am so glad you told me to do this. Anyway, 76 days and counting. I imagine I won't be nearly this good at updating daily down the road, but I will definitely try.

Satan has definitely been attacking us lately, well, me more specifically. Yesterday was one of those days where absolutely NOTHING went right. At work, I had this ongoing e-mail argument with someone almost the whole day. Then we had a meeting set up to meet with one of my old professors. I tried to print out an updated newsletter for him, our printer stopped working. We tried to burn our DVD, someone in the library deleted EVERYTHING. So now we are back to square one with the DVD...for the third time. UGH!!! This is just one of those times. Something that has been so amazing is I am reading this book called The Barbarian Way by Erwin Raphael McManus that my friend Will suggested I read. I can tell you right now that it is going to be a life-changer in the way I think. When all those things were happening yesterday, I just assumed that God would take care of it because I was doing it for Him. But the more I prayed for God to "rescue" me, the more I realized how skewed my idea of Him really is. In the book, it explains how civilized Christians have become in their way of thinking. We believe that God will rescue, comfort, take care of and always do what we want. That's just not the case. God has a bigger plan than a newsletter or DVD and just because I wanted those things to work out, doesn't mean that magically God is going to do it. He's not a genie in a bottle. When I started to remember what the book was teaching me, I felt more at peace with the idea that what God was doing is much bigger than the presentation I was going to make. What a freeing thought.

Long story, short...the meeting went great. There are a plethera of opportunities that can and probably will come because of that meeting, even though I didn't have my fancy DVD to show him. I hope that some day down the road, I will truly become a Barbarian for Christ.

Til later,
Goody

Beginning of the Adventure

If you can believe it, we are 77 days away from departure!!! A new phase in our lives is about to begin. We are moving to the Dominican Republic.

It started back in the begining of January when we were called by our good friend, Will. He called to let us know that the organization he was with, G.O. Ministries (http://www.go-ministries.org/) was looking for someone who knew graphic design and photography as well as someone who could run their soccer ministry. Are you kidding??? If you could describe us in three words it would be: ministry, media and SOCCER!!!! What an awesome opportunity. We were immediately interested and less than a week later we were standing in front of Brook's (President of G.O.) door. Two days later, driving home, we knew our lives would be forever changed.

So here we are, starting a blog to keep our friends and family informed and introduce ourselves to the wide world of bloggers. We only hope that this will be another avenue for us to spread God's word and get more people involved in the ministry at the Dominican Republic!